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Brett is Figwit, Lord of the Rings

Who is Figwit?

figwit

 

 
  Q: Who is Figwit?
A: Figwit is an elf who was first sighted in the Council of Elrond. He has dark hair. He has no audible speaking lines.
He is, in a word, gorgeous.
Or another, stunning.
Or another, enigmatic.
Or another, hypnotic.
Or another, stupendous.
Or another, captivating.
Take your pick.
We go with all of the above and then some.
 
  Q: Why is he called “Figwit”? Is that his real name?
A: “Figwit” stands for "Frodo is grea...who is THAT?!?" We don't know his real name. If you're desperate you can call him Figgy, Melpomaen (very loose Elvish translation of 'fig' and 'wit'), The Silent One, Feathers (don't ask), and, of course, gorgeous.
 
  Q: So why do you say "Frodo is grea.. who is THAT??!"?
A: When Frodo says "I will take it!", we are so impressed we start to think “Frodo is great!" But before we finish, the camera pans and we see Figwit, smoldering enigmatically in the background. All other thoughts are whisked away by that elf - who is THAT?! He's gorgeous!
 
  Q: So...where and when exactly can I see him?
A: In Fellowship of The Ring: During the council of Elrond, he sits next to Aragorn until they all stand up to argue. After Frodo shouts “I will take it!" and everyone turns and looks at him, you see Figwit standing - on the far right, looking perfect, pouty, and gorgeous.

The Two Towers: He's not in that one. No wonder most people say TTT is their least favorite of the three.

Return of The King: It's very simple. In the scene where we see Arwen leaving for the Grey Havens and has that Ring-flu induced hallucination about her effeminate future son, Figwit is the one that tell her to get her bony ass back with the others. His exact words: "Lady Arwen, we cannot delay!" and then- "My lady!".

People ask whether his reappearance in ROTK is just a happy coincidence. It's not. Peter Jackson called him back for pickups and he was given a line. The are also two official TOPPS cards (#1 #2) bearing his "name"
Fear the power of the Figwit!

 
  Q: He doesn't seem to say anything. Can he talk?
A: Seeing him in FOTR we thought he doesn't speak- hence the famous "some say he doesn't speak" line. After watching ROTK the answer to this question is pretty obvious. Yes, he does speak. He is an elf of few words, though. He usually prefers to smolder in a silent and provocative way, his silence speaking louder than any voice. Looking gorgeous.
 
  Q: "Amin feuya ten' lle! Tolkien is turning in his grave!"/"U sukc! Legolas rulez!"/"You people are pathetic"
A: Please go here for a pre-written reply.
 
 
 

THE NOT SO BASIC:

 
  Q: Are you absolutely sure he's male?
A: Er.... yes. Why? What do you know that we don't? He’s an elf who is, quite simply, gorgeous.
 
  Q: Is it true that he is Legolas's 'companion' *nudge nudge*?
A: Wouldn't you like to know…. We think he is too gorgeous to be Legolas's companion. Haven’t you seen him? He's gorgeous.
 
  Q: "Pluck you"? What does that mean?
A: Check out this old news item:

30/03/01 Figwit speaks update.
We've been hearing some disturbing rumors and would like to clarify something: Figwit DID NOT say "F*** you!" during the argument scene. Maybe he said “Pluck you!" (Have you not seen his eyebrows? They're gorgeous!) It was probably in Elvish anyway so we'll never know.

 
  Q: I heard he is actually one of Elrond's sons - Elladan or Elrohir. Is this true?
A: This is very unlikely. Arwen's brother probably doesn't address his own sister as "Lady Arwen" and "my lady" (unless he's mad at her for repeatedly stealing screentime from him and his buddy Glorfindel).
 
  Q: What about the possibility of him being Galdor, Erestor or Glorfindel?
A: No.
This is Galdor.
This is Erestor.
Glorfindel is blond, remember?
 
  Q: Do you know the name of the actor who plays Figwit?
A: Is it "Figwit" or "Lives!" you didn't understand? No mere human actor could portray our Figwit! We have, however, heard that there’s an Elvish impersonator out there named Bret McKenzie. He is so convincing that many think he is Figwit. But we are not fooled one little bit.
 
  Q: Flight of The Conchords? What's that?
A: Flight of The Conchords are New Zealand's 4th most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo. Bret McKenzie is one half of it. 
 
 

This FAQ was written by inDUHvidual and Arwenelf. Don't be jealous.

This information all comes from the official Figwit website. For more great stuff please go to http://www.figwitlives.net/index.htm



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