Top things a Kiwi woman will not say

It's our anniversary, but you go to the races with the boys. 
 
I think you need another beer, that first 2 dozen just wasn't enough. 
 
I'm bored, fancy a threesome. 
 
Why are you here talking about your feelings and where our relationship is going, when you should be down at the pub with your mates. 
 
I don't think we should get married; we should have an open relationship. 
 
Is that the best fart you can do, give me another, but louder and with more smell, then stick my head under the bed covers so I can appreciate it. 
 
That beer gut is so hot and sexy. 
 
I want to watch the rugby with you rather than going shopping. 
 
I came back from the bookstore with House and Garden magazine for me and Playboy for you. 
 
Why don't me make a sex tape, then get a copy and then pass it around the boys. 
 
Our relationship is going nowhere, but I live for the day and love it. 
 
If you come home at early in the morning smelling of booze make sure you wake me so we can have sex. 
 
Don't tell me your feelings, and I won't tell you mine. 
 
You are sexier than Dan Carter.