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Sayings for Golfers

When I die, bury  me on the golf course, so my husband will  visit.
                 Author  Unknown

I don't say my  golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up  sliced.
                 Author  Unknown

I've spent most of  my life golfing. The rest I've just wasted.
                 Author  Unknown

They call it golf  because all the other four-letter words were  taken.
                 Raymond  Floyd

The ardent golfer  would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag  stick on top.
                 Pete Dye (His golf  courses reflect this belief!!!)

Golf is played by  twenty million mature American men whose wives think they  are out having fun.
                 Jim  Bishop

It took me  seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I  did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
                 Hank  Aaron

Golf is a game in  which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down  five.
                Paul  Harvey

Give me golf  clubs, fresh air & a beautiful partner, and you can  keep the clubs and the fresh air.
                 Jack  Benny

Have you ever  noticed what golf spells backwards?
                 Al  Boliska

The only time my  prayers are never answered is on the golf  course.
                 Billy  Graham

Reverse every  natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are 
inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to  having a perfect golf swing.
                 Ben  Hogan

Go play golf. Go  to the golf course. Hit the ball.
Find the ball. Repeat  until the ball is in the hole. Have fun. The end.
                 Chuck  Hogan

If you think it's  hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf  ball.
                 Jack  Lemmon

It's good  sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they  are still rolling.
                 Mark  Twain

Don't play too  much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
                 Harry  Vardon

Golf is a game in  which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
                Woodrow  Wilson

A golfer's diet:  live on greens as much as possible ..
                 Author  Unknown

Gone golfin' ...  be back about dark thirty.
                 Author  Unknown

Born to golf.  Forced to work.
                 Author  Unknown

My body is here,  but my mind has already teed off ..
                 Author  Unknown

Golf and sex are  the only things you can enjoy without being good at  them.
                 Jimmy  DeMaret

May thy ball lie  in green pastures ...... and not in still  waters.
                 Author  Unknown

If I hit it right,  it's a slice. If I hit it left,
it's a hook. If I hit it  straight, it's a miracle.
                 Author  Unknown

The difference in  golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your  lie.
                 George  Deukmejian

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of  bagpipes.

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle,

followed by a good bottle of beer. 

If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane,

here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble. 

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot. 

A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers... neither of whom can putt very well. 

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you. 

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.


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